Mr. Crayola

So one of my principles hates me. I call him Mr. Crayola. I had met him on my first training flight with L* but he didn't remember me. So I flew him and his wife and he didn't seem very impressed with me. Then I flew just him. I served him dinner and when I set his food and drink down he goes "Oh Jesus! Ok take this drink to the back and put it in a tall glass and bring me the bottle, and get me a dinner fork." Okay my bad for grabbing an appetizer fork (not a huge deal), pour the drink out of the tumbler into a high ball glass and oh look there is room to add an entire sip's worth of iced tea! Yeesh. So then we land and I get him his coat (planes still moving we got some time before he gets off) and he asks about the left over food. He's got me flustered so I say I was just packing it up, he gives me this look like no your standing here and I go, "I'll pack it up right now for you." So he leaves but I have him again the next weekend.

So he gets on with his family and I had straightened my hair and must have looked drastically different because he was being very nice to me and then realized I was the same girl from the weekend before and his entire attitude changed towards me. So Mr. Crayola has over $200 worth of hot chinese food with him for his 8 guests. For those of you who don't know much about corporate jets there isn't a real refrigerator. There is a storage area that stays cooler than the rest of the plane because more outside air blows on it than heated air from inside the plane. Since there isn't really anywhere else to store stuff I put all the food in there (plus they weren't going to eat for at least another hour and a half) Dinner time, Mr. Crayola comes back and freaks out that I had put the food in the refrigerator. "That food was hot! You would never put hot food into a refrigerator! No wonder the lasagna was so dried out last time"...on and on. Me, "Ok I'm very sorry Mr. Crayola. I'll never put your hot food in there again. I'm sorry I didn't realize etc." Ok we get everyone served but I know he's really not impressed now.

So 3 days later I have to fly the group back. Great.

Brings hot food on again. This time we have spaghetti. So giant pan of pasta and like 10 containers- sauce with meat, sauce with no meat, meatballs, meatballs with no wheat, rice noodles, kid pasta, garlic bread, reggino cheese, parmigan cheese etc. Everyone is STARVING but for the first 20 minutes of the flight I have to stay in the jump seat because of turbulence. As soon as I'm up Mr. Crayola is like ok everyone needs to eat now! So I walk back to the galley and the first thing that happens is a wineglass falls out of the rack and breaks everywhere! I have to clean that up really well because there are several kids on board and the last thing I need is for one of them to get sliced up. Just as I finish cleaning everything up and setting up a logical prep area Mr. Crayola decides to come back and be helpful. Well I obviously need help so his son is going to take the orders, tell them to me then deliver the plates. Ok fine. Now its Mr. Crayola, his son, and me all standing in the galley. There is no room for me to move! I'm not dishing up the pasta right or putting the sauce on correctly so Mr. Crayola stays and helps me. Basically the whole thing felt utterly chaotic and cramped but in the end everyone got fed and they were happy. Mr. Crayola even had me feed the pilots spaghetti, but he did not offer any to me. Ha, well the joke was on him because as I was wrapping everything up I noticed a black thing in the pasta and I picked it out. It was a freaking bug! He fed all his guests on the plane pasta with bugs in it!! I wasn't about to say anything, but I hope he realized when he ate the leftovers at home. Serves him right.