FACTS notes

Ask Lisa about hot towels, buying magazines, calling caterer day of to confirm order

Pass through Customs
Sealed meats
sealed cheese
breads/ wraps
sealed mix greens
cookies

700NY
Mr. green- newspapers, diet peach snapple
Mrs. Green- drinks wine out of highball glass not wine glass
Mr. Meihel- always premake sofa bed and have his blanket, always rinse glass before serving, mini snickers, the ny post and WSJ (all papers)
Mrs. Meihel- herbal teas (mint)

Pilots
Dan- Doritios, diet coke, not a fussy eater (sandwiches, wraps, salads, soup, etc) black coffee chews and smokes depending on who flying with, no raisins

matt- healthy eater (wraps, salads-chicken ceasar), diet coke, black coffee, chews, protein bars (ex Detour caramel peanut and peanut butter 15 or more grams protein) tomato (veggies) for sandwich, spicy mustard

Billy- Atkins (lettuce wraps, meats, cheese) coffee w/ whole milk, V8, smokes

Tony- no cooked carrots (?) candy fiend

David- candy fiend

Bob- Ham or turkey w/ swiss

Joe- Anything coffee w/ cream, candy fiend

Roger- healthy eater, small portions, skim milk, lemon meringue pie (fav) merlot, turkey and wheat bread w/ provolone

Ray- contract pilot eats anything black coffee

Lisa- 607. 426. 4854 cell
607. 535. 4211 home

Always ask about catering- check and double check
Air Chef 800. 247. 2433 direct billing
Rudy's 201. 727. 1122 for both

can call FBO and ask for catering recommendation
delivered 2 hours before
get bulk unless flight time is <20 min
plated/boxed like a meal w/ a side and a cookie
*have caterer read it back!

New Trip
1. catering- always check and double check
2. who flying with (pilots)
3. Shopping
4. Arrive 2-3 hrs before
-check stock/ restock
-lights, monitors, drain heaters on-> galley master, 60 Hz master, all galley lights, upper and lower in FWD and AFT cabin, water and drain heater
captains seat video on A/S
-arrange flower fruit basket newspaper(buy or get from Hotel) welcome table
-coffee pots on stairs(both galley and cockpit), ice, flush toilet

Using Oven
set both dials to temp
flip both switched up (on)
push in blower (orange light)
blower off to open oven
middle racks usually, much lower temp than for a normal oven, no plastic or cardboard

FACTS training
If you contract- trip expenses (ie 1099 form)
*have a specific credit card and request a high limit telling the credit card company its for expenses
*incorporate yourself- only pay taxes on your personal salary not what your company gets paid company can pay office/rent, dry cleaning periodicals, internet, car payment, insurance, office supplies, buy DVD's and magazines to bring on the plane
*reimbursable expenses are not taxable
*get a program to keep track of expenses, income etc (quicken, quickbooks)
*have a paper backup- 3 ring binder and do one yearly
*photocopy all receipts and expenses keep good records!
*Fax machine for home- trip sheets, catering etc
General
*always have passport! carry COLOR copies of passport can get secondary passport by getting a permission letter from flight department on company letterhead- ideal when getting a visa
*use passport cover so can't see your nationality
*monitor passport expiration date
Key Items when packing
*standard packing system and items ready to go
*passport ID always packeted in same place
*small flashlight
*toiletries- get duplicates and leave packed- no unpacking and repacking
*always pack for a minimum of 3 days
*extra uniform pieces
*cell phone and charger- have 2 cell chargers
*travel alarm clock battery operated
*lint brush
*international sim card or skype
Catering
*use a standard form
*know your options-restaurants, hotels, catering, gourmet markets, fast food
*get name of person taking catering order and have them read back the entire order
*ask questions -cook times/ food prep etc
*give own name and number
*caterer will work with you if you have a budget
*if faxing order call and talk over the entire order
*day of trip call and confirm order and delivery time- ex when driving to airport
International destinations- customs vary flowers, fruit, vegetables, dairy, meats, when in doubt ask customs agent make sure proper trash disposal
Welcome Table
Newspapers
*Wall Street Journal *New York Times *Financial Times *Local Newspapers *USA Today can go to the website of the paper and they have a print version
can get papers at Hotel, FBO, gift shop-what time they open, papers they carry
*weather forecast, papers, flowers, fruit bowl, snack bowls in cabin
Getting on Plane
*store personal luggage and make sure marked and crew knows what's yours
*order ice and coffee from line service
*check galley supplies
*toiletry supplies
*locate electrical outlets
*operation of seats and how the divan becomes a bed, is there bedding on aircraft/ in supply room
(with power)
*check entertainment equipment
*check galley power
*flush toilet make sure been serviced
*running h2o and wipe out sink basin
*crew briefing-find out commands, how you are going to communicate in flight

Serivce (luxuryoutfitters.com)
*hot towels- offer before food service and before landing. if only doing once offer at end of meal service just prior to landing
*heat with hot h2o or in microwave
*put on tray and hand out with tongs
*metal or plastic tongs get trashed b/c of bacteria
*also gather with tongs or have them place used hot towel on a tray

Catering
*no pulp OJ for mimosa
*leftovers can only be reheated once so take out each serving and heat
*cleaning and sanitizing chemical agents-remove remaining residue
*can ask passengers about return flight- what do you want to eat, we have this on file is that correct?
*for longer flights brew a fresh pot of coffee when serving the entree

Refresh Lav
*flush toilet, wipe basin and close lid (spray cooking oil prevents anything from sticking) clean sink and mirror area, no water spots, tissue display, triangle fold TP (diamond with fan TP fold for first time), refold/ replace hand towels and washcloths spray air freshener



Security
Lock aircraft even if only on ground a couple hours
need to know basis for communication
have covert word or phrase for pilots- like being held hostage in your hotel room
maintain positive control over PAX and luggage- PAX identify all luggage before it gets loaded
Hijacked- neutralize the threat (kill them) be watchful of sleepers/ others involved
actions well thought out and surgically executed- 100% secure
International- know before you go, research on internet. keep a low profile-jewelry, clothes, electronics(ipod cell phone, computers), act on a need to know basis, vary your routine, don't wear logos, avoid crowds, maintain situational awareness, keep others informed (ex. leave note in your own room of what your plans are) avoid tourist traps, know local emergency numbers
Hotel room- prop door open- check thoroughly (windows lock, door locks, shower, under bed) cell phone, duct tape, smoke hood, flashlight garbage can or ironing board set in front of doors, always flip door latch when room service or maintenance comes elevator stand by the control panel

Preflight Check- TSO (there secure operational)
BBP kit (required by OSHA)
find o2 drop down panels

First Aid
Administering O2 always high flow, make sure O2 flowing, no clogs in line (feel or hear flow) no funky smell
Therapeutic has to be turned on by pilots

Fire
Feel for fire with back of hands so as not to burn working surface

Water
when ditching use o/w exit
put life vest on like me over head, wrap around waist clip together do not inflate till outside the aircraft
ABP brief on getting life raft out
in raft-get in raft, get low and get to the back. ELT and sea anchor 2 most important things says coast guard. have Dramamine!




head always goes towards front of A/C b/c plane flies with nose up

Sereta: We're all gonna die!!
Tara: Thank you for that.

Tara: Please evacuate. Come this way. Pleas evacuate.

Tara: No one should have to deal with flying monkeys and Genelle.


Call From Charter
*ask what kind of oven the a/c has? if no idea ask caterer for containers for both
*#passenger, time departing, Tail # special catering requests, profile form, pilots cell #

Preflight Briefing
passengers will want to know flight time and weather (ie will it be bumpy)

Serving
*sauce on bottom of plate
*use garnish- green onion, radish spinner, medalion chicken (sliced on diagnal) parsley flakes (dried) for color
*can use ramekins for shaping, rice/starch products
*try to stay w/in center boarders of the plate
*take order from VIP first, serve ;ady sitting with him first
*at table serve furthest away from you first- use tray and reach across and present might not be able to get to them so they can take it off the tray (could be dinner meal or coffee cup etc)
*must have ziploc bags, 2 rolls paper towels, dish bin
* clear all the plates from a table at a tie (wait for everyone to finish unless plate being pushed to the side) never remove silverware from plate and put back on table- take to galley rinse and give back to same person

Passengers Depart
check to make sure nothing has been left behind
make sure using proper cleaning products can always use pure vodka
begin at one end of plane and work towards other so nothing gets overlooked
pull out tables, pull out chairs, sit in seat/ on toilet (gives different perspective)
can lay blankets over backs of seats to look nice
check too see if need to empty ice drawer or leave cracked open while at home
clean and polish galley counter tops, cabinets, latches
linens, placemats, hand towels/ washcloths home base laundry drop dry cleaning ?
away from base do whatever it takes professional service same day or next service hotel may be better than FBO
Vacuum in one direction
line service- dirty dishes, coffee containers, trash, can give them leftover catering last as a reward
always clean/ detail right then don't wait for later plans can change! prepare ahead

When contracting
have traking system for paper work (ALC-01, ALC-02 etc)
keep all receipts- envelope, zippered pouch write total, tail #, trip dates/ info receipts fade give them originals and keep your copies
when filing have unpaid receipt folder then pull out and file once paid
reimbursables are not taxable keep separate
on invoice write your daily rate! finance department may not know what I get paid daily
know where to hand in your expenses (charter office, accounting department, pilots turn in ASAP)



Resume
*flycontract.com
*office depot presentation paper- nice thickness
*cover letter call company and find out who to address it to and how to spell name
*Keep resume up to date
*FACTS certification featured on resume
*SPELL CHECK- proof read 2 others as well
*punctuation correct and consistent
*objective optional can be in cover letter
*can use photograph for flight department-professional photo dressed in uniform
*2 versions of resume one w/ photo one w/o -black and white photo
online resume-> standard font (ariel, veranda, helvectia), can email if but use name of person emailing, title resume with own name!, word format or pdf (no word processor) no personal address PO box or city you reside in (personal security issue) research lots of sites you can post resume on
Business Cards-> proper name, city locations, cell phone #, email address, FACTS certified corporate flight attendant

Many hats, flexibility things change plan ahead
silent service don't interrupt just do it they'll tell you if they don't want it always monitor don't hover expect the unexpected always!
communicate-before during after always! talk with the pilots. don't discuss other clients can make or break career also a security issue. maintain professional image, fraternization w/ passengers at own risk don't run mouth, don't be overly friendly

First Aid
Shake and shout, call the pilot get help
start with big questions and go small, kneel down to eye level
Big 5 Questions
diabetes
allergies
seizures
heart
lungs
Airway- if talking then breathing and have circulation
3 reasons not to give first aid
*lack of knowledge do not operate out of your level of training
*fear of lawyer- never accept any form of payment!
*fear of disease blood mucous body fluids

normal breathing- I breathe and other person also breathes

CPR- patient assessment- unresponsive don't check pulse
if responsive check radial artery (thumb attaches to wrist) carotid 2 fingers either side adams apple

unconscious
Airway-hand on forehead tilt head back
Breathing- ear near nose hand on abdomen looking down chest look listen and feel for breath no more than 5 seconds
2 full breaths then
30 chest compressions- 1and a half to 2 inches deep and fast
2 full breaths
30 chest compressions
(do sequence 5 x in 2 minutes and recheck A and B
keeping blood pressure up

Defibrillation
only put on unresponsive person! must accomplish A and B first
biggest mistake forget to turn the machine on!
preflight AED either lights or hour glass make sure functional!
less than 8 yrs or 80 lbs don't use- children have respiratory problems not cardiac

person unresponsive and not breathing (dead) unless see/ know when person collapsed do 2 minutes CPR before using AED want to get blood pressure back up if you see person collapse do A and B then shock
AED shock once then do CPR for 2 minutes (machine tells you what to do) AED will reanalyze heart rhythm every 2 minutes
medical personnel remove AED pads from person if have medicinal patch on chest remove and place on pant leg so medical personnel will know about it

Anaphylactic shock- severe allergy releases histamines blood pressure drops
trx- monitor airway, anti histamines (liquid benadryl), epipen 3 mg pure adrenaline- take out of plastic case, turn top jab into upper leg through pants speeds up heart rate so toxins can't bond to O2 in bloodstream don't do w/o DR's orders!! can help them but let person jab themselves

Diabetic
Hyperglycemia- high blood sugar happens over days
hypoglycemia- low blood sugar can be sudden
ask medical history, last meal, conscious person assist with food needs and monitor airway
unconscious person- give sugar paste or cake icing give O2 at high flow

Cuts
Direct pressure and elevation- 99% effective
tourniquet last resort when person is going to bleed to death, amputations are a dry event just make 90 degree straight cut and blood vessel seal closed

Burns
1st degree- aloe
2nd degree blistering cool damp cloth
3rd degree- skin gone, not painful because never endings are gone keep dry no H2O
Chemical burns trx varies read labels

Foriegn Body airway obstruction
partial- can talk or make noise-leave them alone stay close, monitor and talk to them
full- clasp throat, go to bathroom and lock door First-"are you choking?"
5abdominal thrusts- one foot b/w their legs, 2 fingers above belly button interlace hands and thrusts are in and up
pregnant or too fat to reach around- chest compressions have them lay down or get them up against a wall person goes unconscious begin cpr
Child (infant) choking
hold on forearm with head down (gravity can assist you) heel of hand b/w shoulder blades 5x then flip to other forearm and use 2 fingers to give 5 chest compressions repeat

Blood borne pathogens kit- sharps container, germicide, face shield, latex gloves, biohazard bag
universal precautions- treat all bodily fluids as infectious

fear of heights

Was flying the NBA commissioner and had a bunch of stuff I was planning on doing during the repo flight, however my pilots informed me there was a lot of bad weather and it might be pretty bumpy. SHIT! So I grabbed a bunch of things-including my uniform, and put them at the back table so I could have access to them if I couldn't get up. I rolled 14 place settings and was waiting for the plane to takeoff and decided I might as well put my inform on. The pantyhose were a little difficult, button up shirt was easy got it all tucked into my skirt, buttoned it up and good to go. We land in TEB and there was a good amount of catering and I was kinda running around being a little crazy (as usual)The line guys were being very helpful- normally they just carry stuff to the top of the stairs and I have to run up and down the aisle with everything but there was actually 2 guys that were bringing everything all the way back to the galley for me. (Sweet! I figured it was just my lucky day)So i get everything put away/ put in place and I'm doing a final cabin sweep and my buddy clears his throat and goes, "Uh Abby......I wasn't looking but your zippers down" Me: ::a little flustered but whatever I've got skivies on:: Oh. so it was. I go check something and my buddy goes off to the cockpit. End of story.


HA! Later during the flight I go to the bathroom and as I'm checking myself in the mirror I decide to see just what my zipper down looked like. Weeelll...the zipper is about 6 inches long and I of course had chosen that day to wear a thong so skivies be damned all that separated my ass from not only my pilots eyes but also the line guys eyes was some sheer black pantyhose. Greaaate. Makes sense now why the line guys were so willing to help.

But hold on it gets better!
About a week later with the same crew we were going to fly the Clinton's. We're sitting at HPN waiting for them to show and my Mr. Mall says to me "Hey Ab, ya know that zipper thing that happened last time"... ::eye brow raise:: Me: ::shake head in shock and disbelief, he's totally puling my leg:: "No way." Mr. Mall: ::nodding yes:: "you better get that checked." I reach back and sure enough my freaking zipper was down!!!. Good thing modesty isn't important to me.

remember the time...

How about the time I got ready in 8 minutes. And by got ready I mean out of bed, brushed teeth, did makeup and hair, packed up bathroom supplies and clothes, and computer, put on undies, bra, pantyhose, skirt, button down shirt, blazer, Got in the elevator before my pilots could even text saying they were outside with the car! All in all just 5 minutes late! For weeks after this I had nightmares about missing work...sleeping through it, being in the wrong place for departure etc.

And of course this had to happen with the pilot that I had been teasing about being late just a few days before. Now he gets to sass me for being late and for harassing him :-P

Island life

I went to the Bahamas. I know what you're thinking- beach, shopping, seafood dinners, frothy drinks while tanning by the pool, night life of bars, music, people and possible dancing- yeah I thought that too. We looked at the map and realized that the plane was landing at one end of the island and our hotel was at the other end of the 42 mile long island, but hey we figured we'd get to see the scenery on the drive. Oh man- we were wrong. About 1,500 people on the island, not at all commercialized, they even drive on the Left! (ha ha j/k) Not only that but all the seaweed on the usually pristine pink sand beaches, and the wind blowing from the East (rare), giant spiders, and wasps in the sand. I truly think we were in the Bermuda triangle.

Where the hell are we was the mantra for the weekend.

It gets better though... The lav didn't get dumped, 2 crew members drank till they threw up (me included in that number), everyone got hit on, I endured 2 cases of mistaken identity- honeymooner (pilot for a hubby) and a physician (my captain gave me a nickname of Doc Jones...its a long story), got lost even though the island only has 1 road and learned that the only way to get anywhere is "left at the round about," saw a sting ray and 2 sharks (feeble attempt made to capture shark with sea trash), visited the highest point in all the Islands (206 ft above seas level) and....(drum roll please!) made it back to the USA to tell about it! (After paying $250 to the customs lady.)

Welcome to the Bahamas.

surviving the lions den

so T aviation sent me into the lions den...Mr. Crayola went away with his favorite flight attendant Suzie. THEN! change of plans they sent me to bring him back. yikes. I greet him on the tarmac and he turns looks down at me and shrieks "where's suzie?!" Me: "I'm sorry sir, they sent me." Mr. Crayola "Oh no. This is not good, we have a lot of food, I'll go over all of it with you." So I do the best I can. The whole time I was thinking to myself whatever I always do the best I can and its his problem that he thinks I'm too young for the job. When he got on the plane though everyone wanted drinks and there was so much adrenaline pumping through me I couldn't help but shake- visibly shake, to the point that I could only take one drink out at a time and pray that I didn't spill it. I realized I was in full fight or flight mode. I had to focus on slowing my breathing and chanting "every things going to be fine" the entire time I sat in the jumpseat waiting to reach 10,000 ft. I survived the flights (thanks to the alcoholic content of wine) We landed and just as Mr. Crayola went to leave the plane he turned around to me and said "you did a good job." Then he turned and walked away. First of all I nearly fainted from shock then I blushed and said thank you sir. I picked up some bags and followed his wife down the stairs. She had her hands full as well and was leaning on the railing... except the railing ends before you get to the bottom. I think she was probably 3 steps up as I watched her totter and then swing around the steps in slow motion. Thank god she was drunk and landed on her feet. Good Grief.

bed making bitch

I've become the bed making bitch for T aviation. We have a client thats tall and has a bad back so when he flies on the Hawkers he likes to have the couch made up so he can lie on it. I flew him the first time he ever was with the company and since then everyone seems to think that I'm the only one who knows how to make the couch up to his exacting specifications. Twice now I have gotten a call or an email while I was on the road requesting that when I got home if I could please make up the couch on the Hawker. The first time I didn't mind, hey no big deal I'm happy to help out. Well the 2nd time was 2 days later and let me tell you if this is going to be a current trend I'm not interested. So I did it again but sent an email with detailed instructions for future reference, just in case for some reason I wasn't available.
Bed Instructions: Remove couch cushions and store in closet. Place flat twin sheet over couch tucking in corners. Place two pillows into pillowcases and put blanket over flat sheet.

Pretty intense stuff huh? Good thing I'm so good with words. Yeesh.

Oh my Update

So I've been slacking lately, sorry I know! I've been moping around and ignoring anything that might bring me joy, mostly as punishment to myself. But I'm here now and there might be a couple of posts soon close together as I catch you up to the joy I've been calling- Flight Attendant, on Private Jets aka FAKER!

Mr. Crayola

So one of my principles hates me. I call him Mr. Crayola. I had met him on my first training flight with L* but he didn't remember me. So I flew him and his wife and he didn't seem very impressed with me. Then I flew just him. I served him dinner and when I set his food and drink down he goes "Oh Jesus! Ok take this drink to the back and put it in a tall glass and bring me the bottle, and get me a dinner fork." Okay my bad for grabbing an appetizer fork (not a huge deal), pour the drink out of the tumbler into a high ball glass and oh look there is room to add an entire sip's worth of iced tea! Yeesh. So then we land and I get him his coat (planes still moving we got some time before he gets off) and he asks about the left over food. He's got me flustered so I say I was just packing it up, he gives me this look like no your standing here and I go, "I'll pack it up right now for you." So he leaves but I have him again the next weekend.

So he gets on with his family and I had straightened my hair and must have looked drastically different because he was being very nice to me and then realized I was the same girl from the weekend before and his entire attitude changed towards me. So Mr. Crayola has over $200 worth of hot chinese food with him for his 8 guests. For those of you who don't know much about corporate jets there isn't a real refrigerator. There is a storage area that stays cooler than the rest of the plane because more outside air blows on it than heated air from inside the plane. Since there isn't really anywhere else to store stuff I put all the food in there (plus they weren't going to eat for at least another hour and a half) Dinner time, Mr. Crayola comes back and freaks out that I had put the food in the refrigerator. "That food was hot! You would never put hot food into a refrigerator! No wonder the lasagna was so dried out last time"...on and on. Me, "Ok I'm very sorry Mr. Crayola. I'll never put your hot food in there again. I'm sorry I didn't realize etc." Ok we get everyone served but I know he's really not impressed now.

So 3 days later I have to fly the group back. Great.

Brings hot food on again. This time we have spaghetti. So giant pan of pasta and like 10 containers- sauce with meat, sauce with no meat, meatballs, meatballs with no wheat, rice noodles, kid pasta, garlic bread, reggino cheese, parmigan cheese etc. Everyone is STARVING but for the first 20 minutes of the flight I have to stay in the jump seat because of turbulence. As soon as I'm up Mr. Crayola is like ok everyone needs to eat now! So I walk back to the galley and the first thing that happens is a wineglass falls out of the rack and breaks everywhere! I have to clean that up really well because there are several kids on board and the last thing I need is for one of them to get sliced up. Just as I finish cleaning everything up and setting up a logical prep area Mr. Crayola decides to come back and be helpful. Well I obviously need help so his son is going to take the orders, tell them to me then deliver the plates. Ok fine. Now its Mr. Crayola, his son, and me all standing in the galley. There is no room for me to move! I'm not dishing up the pasta right or putting the sauce on correctly so Mr. Crayola stays and helps me. Basically the whole thing felt utterly chaotic and cramped but in the end everyone got fed and they were happy. Mr. Crayola even had me feed the pilots spaghetti, but he did not offer any to me. Ha, well the joke was on him because as I was wrapping everything up I noticed a black thing in the pasta and I picked it out. It was a freaking bug! He fed all his guests on the plane pasta with bugs in it!! I wasn't about to say anything, but I hope he realized when he ate the leftovers at home. Serves him right.

air sick

I hate throwing up. I hate when I throw up, I hate when others throw up, I hate the sound, smell, everything associated with it. So one of my first concerns was how often do people get airsick? I asked L* about it, I asked the flight attendants at FACTS training I even tried to research it online. Everyone said it has either never happened to them, or it only happens once in a very great while. So me on my very first solo flight (I know a little out of order forgive my brain for trying to suppress traumatic events!) what happens? Well I'm sure you can guess- the one teenage girl that was actually awake to eat the ice cream sundaes I served was the one to get sick. We were trying to land in Eagle, CO and because of the mountains it was a bumpy also a little sway towards the back of the plane. So everyone's seated and buckled and I hear my name. I learn around the divider and the Mrs. says she probably wont get sick but maybe a bag just in case. So being on the A/C for the first time I quickly run through all the drawers in my head- don't remember seeing airsick bags anywhere! Shit! Quick I grab a gallon ziplock give her that and go back to the galley to get her a cold washcloth. Then I hear the other two teenage girls kinda in an uproar (like they have never seen anyone puke) I go up the Mrs. is trying to get her daughter and friend out of the section where the girl sits, the girl is hunched over towards the outboard wall trying to be as small as possible puking about half gallon I'd say. It was traumatic for me, and probably for her. But we did get through it so I guess thats good because now I wont be freaking out about it everytime I fly someone. Phew.

Blonde Moment Number 1 or was it 3?

So I had my second solo flight- one passenger to cali for 2 days, no problem right. Expect he drinks sanka and not only do I not drink coffee or know anything about it but the way everyone kept saying "sanka" it seemed like it was just completely different. So when we land in TEB I'm a tad stressed making sure I've done everything on my prep list and as I'm getting ice, newspapers, and coffee I completely forget the dreaded sanka. Then my PIC says maybe you should have made a whole pot of the sanka. Good idea I think so off to the FBO to brew myself some Sanka. No directions on how to make a pot of the stuff, so I ask a very professional looking gentleman how much he would put in the filter. He looked at me as though suddenly I had grown a second head and then said nicely (read this girl can't possibly be serious! what company got stuck with this twit?) "you know the big spoons, not the regular ones but the big tablespoons?" Me: Yes (said as sweetly as I can because I'm not completely retarded but I still need to hear the rest of the answer) Man: Well I'd use at least 2 of those, make sure the bottom of the filter is completely covered. Ok well after a little trial and error (industrial type coffee maker) I get the pot of coffee made and head back to the plane. When I get there I ask the other pilot if he knows what the stuff should look, smell, taste like cuz I have no idea and he goes "weeeellll I'd probably just make it a cup at a time when he asks for it. Its instant right?" Someone please shoot me! I take back my previously stated assumption that I'm not a retard! Anyway all and all the trip went rather well, though my principal seems rather eager to get a massage in flight...we'll have to see.

So much so fast!

Less than a week ago I took a job as a "flight attendant" with a private jet company. I really had no idea at all what I was getting into. A close friend had recommended the position to me saying, "this is my dream job and I think you'd be perfect!" (Her life wouldn't allow the time away) She helped me with my resume, including covering for me by saying I had worked as a waitress in her restaurant (in actuality I have absolutely no bar, restaurant, waitress, or even hostess experience what so ever!!) She assured me that she would guide me through everything being an excellent entertainer herself. So Thursday I had my first flight. The flight attendant, L*, training me is wonderful. Super nice and has lots of great insider info to share with me. Unfortunately I don't even remember my first 2 days of work because just before departing my world was hit with a huge, huge earthquake and I was still reeling from the shock of it. L* said I'm a natural and thinks that I'll be ready for my own flights once we get back to base. Thats both exciting and very, very scary! These are high end jet OWNERS and they want it right, their way, and now! First time everytime. I just have to keep telling myself I can do it and don't be afraid to ask for help, or question something because really this is all new to me.

On a less exciting note- on the second flight a woman got on with, what I thought were, terrible allergies. Her eyes were all red and bloodshot but I was so caught up in it being my second flight I barely thought about it. Well ha ha 3 hours into the flight she tells us she's got conjunctivitis! Are you kidding? L* asks me in shock. Flying makes it worse and its so easy to catch! So were in the back washing our hands, wiping everything down with clorox wipes and basically being sterilizing freaks. I mean not much we can do now but pray we don't get it. Well 2 days later and my eye is nice a pink, pink, pink eye. Ugh how lame.